In defence of the Spoon...
Can we men write about intimate topics? This is a challenge but I will try.....
I was recently challenged by a blog reader to comment on what men need. My standard answer is Beer Sex and TSN.... (for those not from the land of the red mapleleaf...TSN is our version of ESPN) This glib ridiculous answer usually placates the masses and allows us to spend more time goofing off.. Yes its ridiculous.. men need tools.. power saws.. drills...gas powered stuff.. an air compressor... steaks..we need to play hockey not just watch... GOLF etc etc... we are just as needy as the rest of the planet but try to make it simple in Beer sex and Tsn and we try to move on.
I was whaled upon with the spoon... "Don't you like to spoon" "how come that's not on your list" "cuddling and spooning are never part of men's lists" My first response is you have to be kidding me... we men can spoon... we may not make a big deal about it...but we spoon..
Spooning can be vital is getting another shot at item 2.
There is an art to it... you do not want to be there cramped in there all night... she can tetherball you if she has too but you don't want to stuck there.
Most men know. the spoon - we imagine its what women want.. so we need to do it.. lets face it its not complicated.. but there are a few simple rules..
First --- never spoon just for the heck of it.. men in the neighbourhood will hate you, we will kick you out of the club.. Spooning always has a purpose. There are really four key types..." pre", "post", "hey I was thinking about golfing in the morning" or "the I really screwed up bad"
The last two are self explanatory... you hang in there as long as you can until she purrs... or self extricates herself.. if she self extricates- you will have to move to another technique unless you can hold position until she makes her point and then refolds herself in...if that happens you are golden.. if it doesn't well... lets look on the bright side.. you still have power tools to play with in the morning.
the keys to the pre and post are to be patient. We all prefer the pre. It has an intrinsic end point. its not always possible but that's life... This is key but in the end they have a couple of steps regardless of whether its pre or post.. . don't talk much "(is this enough spooning" is a pure rookie mistake)... little talking and you can claim the cuddle at the same time.. " slow movements... don't go for it... touch other parts for once.. stroke the arm.. I know it sounds stupid but go ahead... let her relax.. its ok - in fact desired for you to get excited but hold that thought for a while... this is important always kiss the neck... ... when she starts to make soft noises... poof you are almost done...
see That was not that hard. We men are much less superficial than you imagine. We look at life in depth we just don't talk about it much...
posted by hockeyman @ 8:11 AM
7 Comments:
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Priceless!
Thank you...
At least now we "women" will have an idea of what's going through the spooner's mind at the time of the oh so important position.. lol
Kissing the neck or the back or the shoulders or all three (Hey you do want this to work,right? then pay attention ;-)), is indeed quite important and if there is a two-day stubble there.. oohh makes it even better! Are you taking notes?
I think this was your best post by far... wink
Thankx for sharing what men really think about the famous position!
Hey.. I'm a spooner.. so get over it! HA!
any pointers would help men everywhere
Don't forget a little friendly poking also helps... ;-)
Ok a quote from a song just popped into my head
"a little less talk and alot more action"
Ha!
Ok I like to spoon but not for long periods of time. I got to have my breathing room.
Ok we have spooned now-now get off me! Ha!
(I crack myself up)
she is truly blessed...
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